Walking Alone at Night: A Tale of One City

On Saturday, I walked to the grocery store, my first time walking alone at night in Dubai. It was our first time cooking (Chicken Katsu) in our new apartment and we forgot to buy cooking oil. The grocery store, Choithrams, is nearby our building. 9:17pm, I'm walking out the building door when I take an extra moment to idly chat with the security guard, just in case. 

I opt to leave my purse at home and only carry the essentials: wallet, cell phone, house keys. 'I don't want anything bulky weighing me down, just in case'. My phone was on low battery when I realized I hadn't memorized my boyfriend's international cell phone number yet. I quickly checked my phone, reviewed the numbers, and made a tune out of it so I wouldn't forget. 

9:20pm, I arrive at Choithrams, pausing to play with the stray kittens I've affectionately named Rex and Penelope before entering the store. I text my bf to alert him of my arrival. Upon locating the cooking oil aisle, I realize I don't know what kind of cooking oil we need and originally figured to just pick one and go before thinking better of it and calling my bf to specify which type we need. After we hang up, I grab the appropriate bottle for our dinner and head to the cashier, satisfied by the time stamp on our conversation... just in case. 

9:22pm. Exiting Choithrams, I take a moment to pet the kittens farewell when I notice that two guys have also exited the store and have paused to watch the kittens. I wait a minute for the men to leave and then another minute to make sure they've gained some distance before beginning the trek back home. I text my bf about my departure. 

Walking back to the apartment, I throw my wallet and phone into the grocery bag so as to hide any valuables and to make the bag heavier, just in case I would need to swing it at a potential attacker. I kept my house key hidden in the palm between my index and middle fingers, just in case. Briefly I relax upon noting that there's no one else on the street...before realizing that this also meant no one would see me if anything were to happen. I hurry home.

9:30pm. I'm back upstairs inside our apartment and resume cooking dinner. 

Dubai is a safe city. It is comparable to Los Angeles in terms of safety... Except Dubai is even safer (https://www.osac.gov/Pages/ContentReportDetails.aspx?cid=12119). There were security guards inside Choithrams while I shopped. There are security guards at my work, house, the metro, and the mall. Knowing all this beforehand, why had I taken so many precautions? For a trip under 15 minutes, I had taken 9 precautions to prevent or escape an attack, fight off an attacker, and make people aware of my most recent location. One can never be too cautious but at what point does caution interfere with my ability to live in peace?

I am an immigrant, a stranger in a new land, unaccustomed to all the customs here - my naïveté undoubtedly played a role in how I decided to mitigate my risk of being attacked. I recognize that risk is an inherent component of life: whether I go out or stay at home, risks of one type or another are ever present (although I realize going out may pose a higher risk of certain types of danger than staying in). I'm not sure why I'm blogging about this; if it holds any importance, or if I will feel differently one year from now. It's just food for thought... And yes, our dinner was delicious.